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Imagine having a younger brother and sister who are getting bullied at school. The bullying goes on and on, and no one seems to do anything about it. As it continues, they begin to change their habits. They quit trying out for sports or music in fear of more bullying. They avoid staying after school to talk with friends. They stay home sick. Eventually, they start to lose interest in school altogether. Such bullying would make you mad, right?
Now, imagine that somehow you started attending their classes and experiencing that same bullying yourself, but you knew it was coming. You watched how it affected other students too. Even the teachers seemed anxious and fearful. They would change their plans just to avoid confronting the bullies. You’re in disbelief, watching it all happen. Meanwhile, you remember your own school experience and how much fun you had. You know how good school can feel, but this school is living in the shadows. Everyone rushing between classes, hardly stopping to talk. The life and energy draining away. The community of friendships thinning out. All because of their fear.
You would feel angry. You would feel grief. You would be determined to do something, but what?
Jesus witnessed this same situation among his closest friends. Martha and Mary, in a panic, sent word to Jesus that death was hanging outside their door, casting its shadow across Lazarus, their brother. In desperation they called out to Jesus, hoping beyond hope, wondering if there was anything he could do.
When Jesus arrived, it seemed the bully had won. Death had defeated Lazarus and now its threats were seeping into the others’ hearts. Lazarus’ death was a reminder. Death would continue tormenting them, whispering threats in their ears, intimidating them everywhere they went.
In our own society today, the shadows of death can be neatly tucked away into nursing homes and hospital beds. Perhaps we only face them in moments of tragedy when the shadows can no longer be ignored. In the ancient world, death was a common part of life—normal, even familiar. Yet that didn’t make it easy or any less unnatural. What could they do? Death was a fact.
But when Jesus looked around, he saw what death did to the people he loved. He saw their relationships fracturing. The relationships he had made them for were leaking away. Jesus, unlike the disciples, did not see death as a fact, but as a figment. Unlike Martha and Mary, Jesus saw death not as a creature of immense power, but as a snake that whispered lies. Jesus knew death was not a powerful bully, but a puffed-up sham, an empty shell. Death was a curse, but it was not a destiny.
Yet, these disciples, the people he loved, were grieving because they believed death had power over them. They were grieving because they were held in its grip. Their fear of death sapped their strength and led them to despair. They believed death would have the final word.
Jesus looked on the people he loved and saw what death was doing. It was convincing them, and he was filled with anger and grief.
Jesus grieves for what death does to us. But Jesus’ grief was not exacerbated by despair. His grief did not lead him to give up but to embrace his power of resurrection. Jesus chose to join us in our grief so that we might join him in his resurrection.
The Bible says that Jesus will put death to death (1 Corinthians 15:26; Revelation 20:14) and that death will be swallowed up in Jesus’ victory (1 Corinthians 15:54). The Bible celebrates, saying “Where, O death, where is your victory? Where O death, is your sting?” (1 Corinthians 15:55).
Jesus grieves for what death does to us, for how it threatens us, bullies us, and shuts us down. But its bark is worse than its bite. Jesus tasted the bite of death, but he didn’t live in fear of it. He didn’t despair. Rather he lived in faith that God would deliver him from death. Jesus lived in power and used that power to overcome death and the grave.
Jesus knew the grief of losing loved ones. He was not immune to the heartache of death, but in his grief, Jesus did not lose hope. He did not languish in despair. Jesus grieves with us so that we can celebrate with him. If we’ll let him, he will teach us how to grieve with hope, how to die in hope, and how to put our lives and our loved ones in the hands of God who raises the dead.